Paris Hilton Cleavy, Emily Ratajkowski Sextastic, Anastasia Ashley Asstastic Highlight the Sextastic Twitpics Roundup

We truly are living in digitally interesting times. I know all this technology is important in the fields of medicine and education and public safety and other less important matters, but what it’s done for the ability to translate celebrity ego into celebrity hot social media pics really must be it’s highest purpose. The amount of skin self-published by the most stellar looking among us continues to grow by the day. It’s, well, it’s beautiful.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the blessedly hot Arianny Celeste, Emily Ratajkowski not wearing much, Paris Hilton flashing cleavage from across the sea, Anastasia Ashley in multiple bikini booty visual cues, Alessandra Ambrosio in a tiny bikini, Kendall Jenner in her Calvins and much more. You owe it to that elf who tries ever so hard but still can’t make toys anybody wants to check out each and every one of these passion inducing selfies and self-published candids. It’s like candy for the libido. Enjoy.

Colleen Shannon Bikini Picture Perfect in Malibu

Colleen Shannon is now free, free to be the hot body blonde model she was meant to be. With her legal troubles behind her, the formerly aka World’s Hottest DJ and Playboy model can now turn her attention to the more important matters of exhibiting her stellar sextastic body in two piece swimsuits in Malibu. The creepy bottled water people have brought Colleen and her wicked fine female form back to the beach several times now for dripping wet showoff time.

I’d like to think that someday a girl like Colleen could love me for the prurient deviant ogling soul that I am. Or at least not notice until the seventh date when she takes me home to meet her parents and I tell them what a wonderful perfect funbagged daughter they’ve raised. That date is always the killer for me. But the first six would be oh so fun. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Sam Cooke and Courtnie Quinlan Throw Down the Chesty Gauntlet for the Battle of the Boobtastic



When four ta’s go to war. Well, actually totally wonderful things happen. If only all of the world’s problems could be solved with conflict limited to pitting perfect sets of funbags up against one another. Nobody gets hurt. Everybody gets happy peeks. The Battle of the Boobtastic remains my dream.

And speaking of dreams, what about the outrageously hot Sam Cooke throwing down the perfect teats against brunette succulent Courtnie Quinlan who has men throwing flowers in her path as she travels the streets of London. As so they both deserve. Though, today, here and now and in this place, only one of these two luscious lasses may go home the winner, the other, treated to a bath of humble. It’s up to you to decide. In your ten thousand hours of experience examining boobtastic, in your opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Sam Cooke vs. Courtnie Quinlan

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Photo credit: Page 3 Magazine

Kelly Brook Bikini Shoot For New Look and Old Hard Happy Feelings

I don’t like lists. I shall fight lists and listicles and superlatives to my dying breath, or until somebody pays me to feel otherwise. I mean, there’s standing on principle and then there’s being able to afford the big drink at the movie theater. Nevertheless, were I forced to make a list of some kind, say, the Top Ten Motorboat Dreamy Girls, you can bet Kelly Brook would appear somewhere on that vaunted top ten.

In her latest pictorial pimping her own bikini fashion line through New Look, Kelly shows you as much qualifications as you’d likely need to see to put her onto your lists as well. In an age of slender ladies, Kelly maintains her curvaceous and bodacious form that the cosmic designer implanted lust for deep within the male DNA. Just something about Kelly makes me want to make many babies to populate this planet. Also, pour honey on her funbags. Hey, it’s my DNA too, I’m adding my own flavors. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: New Look Swimwear

Halle Von and Dakota James Thong Bikini Strip Down On Miami Beach

Hey, even adult film stars need some sun. And they certainly aren’t going to be left behind in the battle for best bodies and booties and boobtastic on the beach in Miami.

Twin mature themed film star hotties Halle Von and Dakota James, not necessarily their Christian born names, poses and preened and stripped down to their thongs on Miami Beach to let the legit ladies know that the professional young gals are throwing their hat into the ring. And what a hat indeed. These brand new face of adult cinema au natural sextastic champs aren’t pretenders to any thong throne. They are barely there bikini’d contenders. Examine their talents and see for yourself. And this is just their off-hours. You should see them at work. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures Stiffen Christmas Resolve Across Miami Beach

Winter shminter. That’s what all the hot girls are saying in Miami as best bikini body competition heats up with total disregard for the winter solstice just days away. The weather outside may be frightful in your area, but in Miami, it’s bikini show off time, including the righteous rump of Claudia Romani splashing about in her blue bikini in the warm Souther state waters.

As you know, Claudia’s magical thumper and I are scheduled to be married some time in the coming year. No date certain as there are still some legal obstacles to overcome because of outdate laws. But make no mistake about it, the bridal booty to be is only temping me worse in the interim. I feel like one of those Duggar kids who has to wait for marriage for their first kiss. Only, I will kiss and tell all my tales of savage prurient passions with Claudia’s killer tush. It’s not gentlemanly to brag, but it still feels good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Kendal Lee Schuler Topless Brunette Christmas Present Wonderments from Down Under (Where It’s Summer)


Brunette hot Aussie model Kendal Lee Schuler just posed topless for the photography-party lifestyle magazine Life Without Andy from Down Under. She kind of just made my day. I know so many of you dream of video game consoles or home electronics or Williams-Sonoma kitchen cute equipment (what is wrong with you?) for Christmas. All your Uncle Bill wants for Christmas is his two front teats. Specifically, those delicious funbags on the sextastic likes of Kendal Lee Schuler.

I know I’ve been naughty this year, Santa. It’s kind of my job. But if you could see your way to skipping the lumps of coal this year and stuff Kendal Lee Schuler into my prophylactic stocking, I would be very much obliged. I’m not putting out milk and cookies ever years simply for gratis. Let’s deal. I want Kendal. Name your price, Kris Kringle. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Life Without Andy

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